Relational Drama

How many times do we interact with someone or a group only to come away from the conversation feeling unfulfilled, upset and unheard.  In some relationships, we see that we keep repeating patterns that lead to the same feelings of anger, pain and hurt.  How do we break these cycles to have healthier relationships?  How do we challenge our own behaviour to make the changes necessary?  We have to do the work of change because we cannot change other people.  Therapy can help identify challenging relationships and the patterns within them and support the path towards positive change.  Here’s an exercise to help start the process. 

• Think about a recent negative exchange you have had with an individual or group.

• Think about the patterns – is there a negative cycle that has been repeated time and time again?

According to Stephen Karpman, a therapist from the 1960s, each exchange has three roles (the Drama Triangle) and people move between the roles of persecutor (blames and criticises), the victim (helpless) and the rescuer (saves the day whether asked for or not).  Can you identify with these roles?  How might an awareness of these roles help you to avoid them in the future?

If we want to change the negative relationship dance, we need to change the music and therapy can help you change the playlist.